I Don’t Know If I’m Teaching My Son How To Be A Man. So I Asked Him.

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I wanna say resting, but I don't really see you do do that that much.

SPEAKER_01 0:05

Sat down with my ten year old son Carter and asked him what he thinks a man means. Some of it I was proud and some of it I wasn't ready for. Nobody asked me when I was ten. I just figured it out from the man around me. Good or bad. Our sons are doing the same thing right now. So I wanted to know what he's learning from me. Question number one. What makes somebody a man?

SPEAKER_00 0:29

Being tough in some situations and like handling your business properly and not saying, Oh yeah, I'll do this, like I'll do this tomorrow, and goes on for days and days and days without doing it.

SPEAKER_01 0:44

Who's a man you look up to and why? Doesn't have to be me, it could be somebody else.

SPEAKER_00 0:49

I'd say my dad at number one, and then at number two, I would put like this is a hot take, but I would put Kobe Bryant at like number two. He had he dealed with basketball, his family. He didn't put basketball first, he put his family first. He was a business guy, so he knew how to like keep stuff under control and he was like pretty tough guy.

SPEAKER_01 1:18

Do men cry?

SPEAKER_00 1:20

It's cool. See, women cry in front of each other all the time, so why can't men do it? Like, yeah, sometimes women can do stuff differently, but like I really see what the problem is there.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

What's a man supposed to do when he's mad?

SPEAKER_00 1:38

Well that depends. If he's mad at somebody, like let's say I'm mad at someone at school for like stealing my stuff, I'd speak up to or if they're mad because like they made a mistake, don't make that mistake anymore. Or learn from it.

SPEAKER_01 1:56

Is a man supposed to be tough at all times?

SPEAKER_00 2:00

Not at all times, but like there are definitely some times that you do have to like have some ground and like be tough sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

What do you think a man does for his family? What what is his duties to do?

SPEAKER_00 2:14

I would say like get justice if something goes wrong or let's say I would say kind of keep stuff under control, like help the life out and like make sure everyone's okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:31

Okay. What do I do that you think a man should do?

SPEAKER_00 2:37

I wanna say resting, but I don't really see you do do that that much. Um, this is a hard one. I would say like teaching us stuff, like how to do stuff and like showing us really what really goes on behind the scenes sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

What is something that I do you don't want to do when you grow up?

SPEAKER_00 3:02

Something you do that I don't wanna do when I grow up. I would say like social media really.

SPEAKER_01 3:13

So you you wouldn't wanna be on social media like that?

SPEAKER_00 3:16

Like I would really like MBA, yeah, but I wouldn't like wanna be like a YouTuber for that. Like like a streamer or like something that.

SPEAKER_01 3:28

So you wouldn't want to be a YouTuber? I mean, is there anything else? No judgment, whatever you wanna say. What do you think is hard about being a dad? Cause one day you might be.

SPEAKER_00 3:41

I would say going through all the different phases in your kid's life.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

That's a good one. What do you think about your granddad, your grandpa?

SPEAKER_00 3:55

I've heard different types of sides. I've heard some from you, and then some from grandma, and then some from Auntie Carmen. But what I've learned is he was a businessman really much, and he was like he really didn't show big emotions that much, cause Auntie Carmen once told me a story that she was in high school and something had happened to like her and her friend and grandpa had just took her somewhere to make her feel better, and they nearly do that much. So I would say like he was kind of a neutral man.

SPEAKER_01 4:39

In a lot of dads my age, we we don't show the emotion and sometimes that we should. Positively. We might get mad, but we don't show the love that we should. And that's important to do. What kind of man do you wanna be?

SPEAKER_00 4:56

Well, you are kind of the closest to like the one, but like I wanna be the type of man not to like always be like focused on work. I wanna work a job that's like it doesn't come home in any way, it just stays there, really. I don't wanna have to be out somewhere and then I get called for something or my boss asks me to do something. I just wanna leave work at work.

SPEAKER_01 5:25

Do you think being a man is tough?

SPEAKER_00 5:27

Well, like when I become a man, that's when like my dream job starts to come up and like the cool cars and like the houses and that stuff. Like, 'cause I wanna be a firefighter and you have to like and you're gonna be a man to do that. So I'm kinda excited for that stuff and like all the cool cars you start to become a man and like stuff like that, really.

SPEAKER_01 5:52

What made me proud about Carter's answers was how in tune with just reality that he is right now at 10 years old, and your son probably is too. And what I know I need to work on is just continuing to let him know the real world has in store for him. You hear you say he wants to be a firefighter, and I tell him all the time that that's a great occupation, that's a great goal, but you gotta really work to achieve that. At 10 years old, it's great that you know kind of what you want to do that might change, but you gotta work to get there. When I asked him about his grandfather, he probably doesn't really know that much about him. My father's 90 years old, so he was born when my dad was 80, so he doesn't really know much about him. And at least he got to meet his grandfather because I never met my grandfather. Just a few months ago, I finally seen a picture of him. I've never seen him before. My dad's dad. I did meet my mother's father. He was a cool dude, but he didn't talk very much, kind of like me. But I finally just now seen a picture just a few weeks ago, and I took a picture of the picture of my grandfather so I could have. Working dads, ask your son one question tonight. What do you think makes somebody a man? Listen for his answer. Because you might learn what he's learning from you. Drop in the comments what you think your son might say and come back and tell me. This is Bill Better Dads, and I'll see you next Sunday. Peace.