My Son's Attitude Sounds Just Like Me

Like I always say, it's not what you say, it's what you do. Your son rolls his eyes, talks back, gets loud, and one day you hear it. It hits you. He sounds just like you. Today I'm talking about where our sons really learn that attitude and what I'm doing in my house about it. Work and dash. Let me ask you a question. When your son gets an attitude, who does he sound like? We've got a small dog. The kids wanted it, it's their older sister's dog. But she's a little Yorkie, and you if you got one, you know what it is. I don't have to explain. She gets into the bathroom, tears all the tissue up. She loves it. You cannot leave the door, the bathroom door open. So he was one of the people who wanted the dog, but he doesn't do anything to help discipline the dog. So I come downstairs, tissue is everywhere. I'm like, get in there and clean it up. Get in there and clean it up. Because you want all the fun things to do with the dog, but you don't want to do any of the work that comes with making it understand what it can and cannot do. So me and his mom, we're getting on him. He walks into the bathroom, he's picking up the stuff, and he shuts the door in my face. Needless to say, that didn't go too well for him. So after that whole incident, I'm talking to my wife, and she's like, Yeah, you get the calmer card. I get the one who talks back, has an attitude, who wants to stare me down, almost like he's trying to intimidate me. And right when she said that, I've heard her say that I get a different side of him than what she gets. But that moment I heard that. I said, that's an imitation of me. So the very problem that she's having with him, with his attitude, I'm complicit in it. I'm part of the problem. And that's what this video today is about. Are you part of the problem? And after that happened, after I thought about that, if you got a nine, 10-year-old, 11-year-old, you're getting on him every day. But I want to get on him, but I know where the attitude is coming from. Now I I'm I'm admitting to myself where it's coming from, and I need to change. Our kids watch everything, and here are some of the things that they're picking up. How we talk when we get mad, loud, cursing, using our hands. Is that you? It's me. I can admit to that. How you talk to his mother. He's learning how to talk to women from you. So the way you talk to his mother, the way you interact with his mother, whether it's your wife or you guys are just co-parenting, he's getting a playbook from you. You handle bad days. When you come home from work, stressful day, are you slamming stuff? Are you yelling at people? Do you have an attitude? When I get tired, I admit I have an attitude and I notice it and I don't like it. But how do you handle when you're having bad days around him? Here's another one. How you act when you're wrong. When's the last time you admitted that you were wrong in front of him, in front of your family, to your wife, so he can hear it? When you guys are having a disagreement or argument, whatever you want to call it. When's the last time that you admitted when you're wrong? And the last one, how you talk about other people. He hears it. Your boss, your friends, your family, his coach, his teacher. He's taking it all in and he's like a sponge. How do you talk about other people? In his presence. Kids don't become what you tell them. So this, do what I say, not what I do, they don't work. They become what they watch. Kids learn from observation, imitation, and repetition. So it's easy to punish him. You're doing this, you're doing that. But that moment when I heard her say that, and me, you know, scripting this video and coming up with this video, I'm like, damn, that's me. Here's what I'm working on. Number one, catch it. When you see yourself getting angry, getting upset, catch it. Stop it. Calm down, apologize. They can be wrong, but you also can show, you know, show them that you love them too. I'm angry, but I still love you. Number two, own it out loud. Sometimes you gotta go back. If you don't catch it, but then you feel you feel that you were wrong, go back. Son, I am upset about what you did, but I was wrong the way I spoke to you. I was wrong for yelling at you, cursing at you. Whatever it may be. Just show them that you can admit that you're wrong. I really need to do that because my son hates to admit that he's wrong. Number three, change one thing. Just change one thing. How loud you talk, how much you curse, how you talk to his mom or his other siblings, how you walk in the house after work every day. Just change one thing. Number four, still hold the line. He doesn't get to disrespect you. None of the kids do. No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying you can discipline them and talk to them in a respectful way. You can so, yeah, you don't get to disrespect be disrespectful, but I don't get to be disrespectful either. You can't correct him what you still doing in front of him every day. Because you know just as well as I do, kids will tell you, how come I can't? You do it. Back in July, I did a video about what's really behind your son's disrespect. I'll put that video right here. That video was about him. This video is about us. Drop in the comments one thing that your son or daughter is doing wrong that they picked up from you. This is Bill BetterDaz. I'll see you next Sunday. Peace.